Finding A Soulmate
by PiepsiPiper
Summary: To Ross, she would always be one of the most important things in the universe. But to Joey, she was the universe. Prompt given to me by lostladyknight, chapter story! T for future possibly language.
1. A Wedding Plan

Prologue courtesy to lostladyknight, but the other chapters are to be written by me! Would prefer no critique, as this is just a little thing I decided I would accept to do since I enjoy what I do.

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Three. Three years. That's how long it had been since Rachel turned down that job in Paris. It had been three years since she turned her back on the career opportunity of a lifetime. Three years since she'd given it all away for Ross. And, there hadn't been a single instant of regret. Okay, so maybe there had been some, angst. But not regret, per-say.

Ross was worth the sacrifice.

And now, finally, after thirteen years of dancing around it. After a baby. After all they had put one another through. It was finally time. They were going to become a family. Ross had proposed. They were getting married! She understood why it had taken him so long. After three failed marriage attempts on his part. After divorcing from her. After seeing her leave a man at the altar, well, they were both a bit gun-shy. But, they were Ross and Rachel.

Everyone knew they belonged together. They had a daughter together after all...

"Rach?"

"Oh, uh," Rachel said, coming back out of her daydream. "Sorry Mon, what?"

"I said I'm so excited for you," Monica said. "It's about time you became a Geller officially!"

"Oh, I've felt like part of the family since we were little girls Mon," Rachel said. "You know that."

"Yeah but now it's official! And the best part is, you're getting married." Monica beamed, "There's no feeling better than being the single most important thing in another person's life."

"Yeah," Rachel agreed. And she smiled genuinely.

She was going to become the most important thing in Ross' life. She'd never known what it felt like to be the single most treasured thing in a person's life. Ross had always loved her, sure. Even before she'd loved him. But he loved other things too. His job. His dinosaurs. His son and Emma, of course, they were his children. And that was just fine by her, a person should have a full life. A life of things that make him happy. His life shouldn't revolve around another person. But she had to admit, she couldn't wait to feel that total support and devotion from another person again.

Again.

Joey.

She had always been the single most important thing to Joey. Joey, he'd always loved and valued her more than anything else he had in his life. She, and Emma, too-from the moment he knew she was pregnant. Rachel had never had to wonder if Joey would be there for her. She had never had to even ask, when she needed something, he was there... offering love, support, friendship.

Joey.

All this time she was searching for something Ross couldn't give her, because it wasn't what he was. Something Joey had always been readily willing to offer. Of course, she loved Ross. She was going to marry him. To Ross she would always be one of the most important things in the world, no, the universe. And she loved that about him. But to Joey, she had always been the universe.

But, she was marrying Ross.


	2. The Envelope

About a week passes since the conversation with Monica occurred. Ross is out teaching the college students, so it's up to her to make the invitations. She knows that Monica is attending for sure, but she knows how much it would drive Mon crazy if she didn't send her an invitation. Chandler, of course. Phoebe and Mike will, too. But there is one person Rachel thinks she should see in person about the wedding.

Joey.

Will he be okay with it? Will he come? Will he lie and say he's working that day? So many questions buzzed through her mind, and she found herself wanting him to come more than anyone. But...why? _Because he's your friend! _her mind kept nagging her. She wanted to believe it, just stop all this nonsense and believe it but she couldn't, not for one second. She couldn't because she knew it wasn't a platonic feeling. Did she still have lingering feelings from Barbados?

She pushed the thoughts away as her pen scrawled across the envelope addressed to Ross and Monica's parents, but they crept back in that silent, all-knowing way. Ever since she'd realized she was longing for something more than what Ross could give her, she couldn't get the charming Italian out of her head. Why couldn't her mind stop playing tricks on her and let her live happily ever after with Ross?! Surely since they'd kept attracting each other, over and over again, it meant they were soul-mates. Lobsters.

Her mind flitted through everything they'd been through. The time he'd cheated on her. All the times he'd gotten _so _infuriatingly jealous of _any _other guy that wasn't Chandler or Joey in her life, how much it drove her insane. Did she really want to put up with that for the rest of her life? Is this what she really wanted...?

Stubbornly, she told herself _yes_ and sealed the envelope. She sighed, pleased with her work. She was finally done with all the invitations. She sorted all of them into one big pile and sought out the envelope labeled simply _Joey Tribbiani_ from the pile and put it on the top. Standing up from her chair, she headed for the door of Ross' apartment and heard a knock on the door. _Just in time!_

When she opened it, she was pleased to find their recently-hired new babysitter, who greeted her with a smile. "Emma is asleep in the next room and she's been very cranky this morning. Thank you so much for taking care of her today! I'm sure Ross will beat me back home, since I have to run these errands, but thank you, again." Rachel said, smiling in return and letting the babysitter in before quickly heading out the door.

Once she had reached the post office, which was not far from Central Perk, she pulled Joey's envelope from the pile and shoved the rest into the mail chute outside. She glanced at the cafe just ahead of her, deciding she didn't have time for coffee. Joey should be at home in his apartment, so now was the perfect time to tend to the matters at hand. Off she went, once more, back down the street, and was soon greeted by the familiar sight of the staircase leading up to the apartments.

She hopped up the staircase at a brisk walk, finding a small skip in her step, the envelope neatly tucked under one arm. When she reached his apartment door, she knocked, biting her lip when she remembered the time she had come in tears to ask if she could return to his apartment for a while, following a fight with Ross. From the other side of the door, she heard a muffled, sleepy, "Coming!" She giggled. Of course, he'd slept in late.

The door opened after a moment, and the familiar face peeked around, before none other than Joey raised his eyebrows in slight surprise, opening the door wider, blinking at her in confusion for a moment. "I wasn't expecting you..," he said, pausing to yawn and stretch, "What is it? Is something wrong?" His gaze suddenly turned to concern, but Rachel shook her head.

She held out the envelope. "I wanted to, um, give this to you..in person."

Joey looked from her to the envelope, doing a double-take. He took it from her, opening it and pulling out the card. He read the neatly scrawled writing, eyes flickering, but for once the milky brown, puppy-dog eyes didn't betray an emotion. Or at least, not one she could read. He looked up at her. "Two weeks from now...?"

"Yes."

Joey seemed to consider it. He knew he should be happy for her. She was getting married! Just like the time she'd had Emma. However, he felt a sting on the inside. A familiar longing, and along with it came a familiar hurt. He tucked the card back into the envelope carefully, looking down at the floor as he scratched the back of his head.

Rachel frowned with concern and he heard her step closer, felt a surprisingly cold hand on his shoulder. _It's still winter, _he reminded himself firmly. He looked up at her questioningly.

"Are you..going to attend?"

Joey swallowed inwardly. "Yeah, of course, Rach!" he said, but it lacked the enthusiasm he tried to create. Concern shone in her eyes and..was that..sadness? He shook the thought away. Of course not. She was happy with Ross. He reached up his own hand, resting it on hers cautiously. "Yeah," he repeated, a little quieter, hoping she realized he was sincere before changing the topic, "Are you..cold? Do you want to come in?"

Rachel stared at him for a minute, eyes glued to his, searching them, melting into the gaze. So full of love and concern. His immediate concern in any situation was always her. Always. Ross had more things to be concerned about, and the days she felt upset, most of the time he didn't notice anymore and carried on, taking the somber way she cared for Emma those days as purely normal. He was delved into his own work too much to notice. But not Joey.

"Rach? You okay?" The question was ushered, more concern gushing in. She snapped out of it, mentally shaking herself. _Stop it! Stop it, you're engaged!_

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine, Joe. I'll come in."

Joey sighed in relief, visibly deflating by a level. He took her hand from his shoulder, leading her in and shut the door behind them. The apartment, as always, was the same as it had been when she'd left it. She had to stop in the kitchen for a moment to feel a loss. She missed living here, so much. She slid into one of the chairs on the opposite side of the calendar and he walked toward the fridge. He glanced at her. "Do you want some coffee or something to warm you up?"

"Uh.." Rachel stumbled, mind racing to pull itself together. She looked him over while she tried to think. Why was it so hard to process things today? She glanced at his ruffled bedhead, brown hair splayed in all different directions. "Do you..do you have any hot chocolate?"

"Of course," Joey replied, heading over to the cupboard and searching for the packets of hot cocoa. He shot a glance at her, noting silently how beautiful she looked, as always. He averted his gaze back to the cupboard, pulling out a pack and searching for a mug. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah..just a little, uh, tired," Rachel replied, faking a yawn. Joey mirrored it with a genuine one, pouring some water into the mug and sticking it in the microwave. He leaned over the counter, meeting her gaze, not looking fully convinced, but he seemed to buy it.

Rachel thought he was just thinking as he looked at her, silent for once, but she realized belatedly he was looking more concerned than when he'd asked if she was cold. "You're getting enough sleep right?" His voice was brisk, worried, and she saw his brown eyes widen when she hesitated. Had she? She couldn't remember. She'd been up perhaps a bit..late..the past couple of nights thinking about the wedding, if she was ready, the preparations..

"Well, I guess I've been staying up later than usual.."

"Rachel..."

"Okay, okay! Maybe four or five hours of sleep. I'm..I'm too excited!" she choked out. A lie, or as of now. When Monica had chatted with her the week prior, she had been _happy _about this. Why wasn't she happy now? What was wrong with her? The pair of brown eyes flickered, a frown forming on his handsome features, and he reached out, grasping her hand between both of his.

"Have you told Ross? Or is he staying up all night, too?"

"No, he's too busy with work, he's tired by the end of the day." Rachel admitted with a sigh. Joey's frown deepened and he moved away at the dinging of the microwave, signaling the water was done warming up. He poured the cocoa mix in, silent as he stirred it with a spoon. He slid the spoon into the sink, turning back to her and placing the hot cocoa in front of her, taking both of her hands and clasping them around the cup. He kept his hands on hers though, and she looked up, confused.

"Please try to get some sleep." His voice was concerned, shaky, a whisper. She frowned, opening her mouth to say something, but merely nodded, a warm feeling filling up inside her, but she neglected to fight it off for once, and a flood of doubt.

He made her feel so loved, so needed, so wanted. He cared on a level higher than anyone else did, even Ross and her friends, so much he would drop everything for her, no matter what it was. He was the first one at her side when she needed someone.

Did she really want to marry Ross?


	3. The Fight

**Thanks for being patient! I will most likely only update on weekends for now unless I have a burst of creativity ouo**

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Over the next few days leading up to a week, Rachel would keep to her promise at a constant. She did her best to sleep for a full eight hours at night, just like she'd told Joey she would. Any day she missed a few hours of sleep, he welcomed her with open arms into his apartment and allowed her to nap on his couch or even her old bed. He never seemed to question why she didn't just nap at Ross' apartment, instead choosing to speak nothing of it.

Instead, he is good to her. He refrains from waking her unless he wants to ask if she wants something to eat or drink, usually around lunch or dinner, depending on what day it is. Rachel normally accepts his offers and sits with him in front of the TV in the armchairs and eats with him. They have small talk, consisting of their days, and he turns the tables to express any concerns and worries he has for her, which she tries to explain.

However, one day she stays unusually late, with no heed to the time. He doesn't notice. He fixes spaghetti and meatballs, just like the time they sat together and she spilled some all over the floor, for dinner. She assumes Ross has just come home and is asleep, as always. His job may not mean the universe to him, but it makes up most of it. He has worked his whole life for it. She is finding herself more doubtful about marrying him.

She glances at Joey, who is absorbed in the flickering of the TV channel he is watching as he crams some of the spaghetti in his mouth, and smiles. He seems to notice, catching her eye and smiling back, waiting until he can swallow his food to ask, "What's up, Rach?"

"Oh, nothing. You just seemed to be really interested in..whatever we're watching." Rachel notes halfheartedly, turning her head to the TV.

"Hm, well I haven't watched this show in a while..." he muses and she smiles again.

It is an awfully stormy night, lightning and thunder galore. She should have left a long time ago, when it was only cloudy. She frowns in thought, thinking she will have to go home soon or Ross will start to worry. _Silly. He's already asleep. He always goes straight to bed when he gets home.. _The depressing thought draws her out. He's only home on weekends. Any other days of the week, she wakes up alone and at night he comes home and goes straight to bed, with only a simple "hello."

She tries not to be happy about staying late. Tries to convince herself to be mad at herself for not leaving earlier. It seems like lately when she knows she should leave, something about her former roommate draws her back in.

She can't do this.

She can't be having feelings for Joey and getting married to Ross.

She loves Ross. Maybe she loves Joey too, if she thinks about it hard enough.

She needs to get a hold of herself. She doesn't want to. She is starting to think maybe Ross and Rachel is not meant to be. Joey is oblivious to her fast-developing feelings, though, and turns a blind eye.

Joey's voice dredges her from her thoughts. "What's wrong?"

She almost jumps out of her skin when she realizes he is standing over her now, flinching and covering her face with her arms when she realizes belatedly it's only him. She can almost _feel _his guilt and moves her arms away from her face slowly. "I'm sorry, I was lost in thought."

"Oh. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine, Joe..."

He relaxes visibly. "Oh, um, good.."

There is a few moments of silence before she stands up abruptly. "Right, I suppose I should..."

She is cut off by realizing how close she is to his face with her own, and his dark brown eyes have never left hers for a second. She freezes, and she can almost see his breath hitch in his throat. She feels her heart beating erratically in her chest, wanting something she shouldn't. "...leave."

He nods, quiet. He swallows sharply but he can't seem to will himself to step back. Why can't he control himself suddenly? "Okay. Goodnight, then?"

Rachel nods as well. "Goodnight."

He gives her a small smile and starts to turn away and walk to the door, resting his hand on the handle. She follows at an amiable pace. "Would you like me to get the door for you?"

She smiles, giggles a bit. "Yes, that would be great considering you're already there."

He opens the door then, and she starts to walk out, shooting him another smile. But midway through the door, she suddenly stops. Something seems to take over her, a driving urge to get what she wants, just like Rachel.

"Rach?"

She turns toward him, gaze finding his. He frowns in confusion, opening his mouth to say something, but she steps forward and grabs his shoulder, kissing him fervently. He tenses in surprise, and she can tell he's trying to think of what to do, but before he can react, she pulls away and gives him what could be perceived as a sad smile, before turning and walking down the steps.

* * *

Upon returning to Ross' apartment, she turns immediately and pulls her key from the door, closing it with a faint squeak. When she turns, she jumps almost sky-high, not expecting what she sees.

Ross, sitting here on the couch, waiting patiently. He looks tired. He watches her silently for a moment as she sighs in relief, placing her keys on the table.

"You scared me." she notes duly, coming around the couch to sit on the opposite end. He says nothing, glancing away. She hesitates, before adding, "You should be in bed."

His gaze locks on her, and it is made of steel. "Where have you been? You've always been gone when I come home lately."

"Oh, that.." Rachel pauses with a nervous laugh. "Just a walk."

"Yeah, because a walk totally lasts hours upon hours at a time. What's going on?"

"Nothing! I went to see Monica and Chandler..and Joey!"

Ross seems to relax slightly but doesn't seem fully convinced. "How come you don't spend any time with me anymore?"

At the question, anger boils up in her unexpectedly, along with bitterness, sadness. "Because! You're never home, you're working all the time except the weekends and when you get home, all you do is sleep! _You _don't have time for me!" she spits, raising her voice slightly before realizing it could wake up Emma.

Ross looks shocked for a split second before his resolve hardens. "So? We're getting married! I don't have the right to come home and _see _my wife-to-be before I go to bed now?"

"What difference does that make?! All you say when you get home is 'hi' and 'goodnight'! There's no conversation, no small talk, no pillow talk, nothing! Nothing, Ross. That's all it is!" Her anger has reached a new level than before, and his eyes widen in shock again but then he snorts, in that stubborn way of his. He gets up immediately and turns away from her.

"Goodnight, then." His voice is cold, ice cold. Rachel regrets what she has said. _But does she really love him anymore? _The lengthening void of nothingness between them is constantly growing, and she feels like she's drifting away from all of it; the love, the passion, the affection. She feels..nothing?

"Ross, wait..."

"_Goodnight._"

Rachel sighs in defeat and nods.

* * *

She takes her time with her bath and combing through her hair with a soft hum. But as she pulls the sheets back and slips into bed beside him, he turns away from her with a grunt and jerks the blankets away from her. She growls, on the brink of furiously snapping at him, but decides better of it. She rolls off the bed.

"I get it. I'll just..go sleep at Joey's tonight."

There's no extra room in Ross' apartment anymore. Well, there was; it had the baby in but after she moved out the first time he moved the bed out, and with them being together, there was no need. The couch in the apartment was always too uncomfortable for her to sleep on. Monica and Chandler would want some alone time.

Surely Joey wouldn't mind.

Ross gives no reply, so she takes her leave, grabbing a change of clothes. She trudges down the spiraling stairs of the apartment and goes across the street to the other half of The Village, climbs some more stairs, and reaches his door. She halfheartedly knocks.

She hears a tired groan from the other side and some grumbling, but the familiar face from earlier opens the door. Surprise flits over his face. He has probably forgotten all about earlier, she assumes.

"...Rach? What's wrong? It's like midnight!" he mumbles worriedly, brown eyes wide.

She crosses her arms as she feels tears forming in her eyes, just like the time she came to ask to move back in. Her voice is a whisper, pleading, "Can I sleep here tonight?"

Joey frowns but nods, pausing to unlatch the door and lets her in. He doesn't ask a single question, just holds her close as she sobs into his shoulder, gripping onto him like a vice.

He gives up his sleep the rest of the night trying to cheer her up and holds her when she cries again until she falls asleep. He decides to stay there in case she wakes up upset again.

He lightly brushes the hair from her face, wiping her eyes, and she smiles faintly in her sleep. He sighs in defeat, kissing the side of her head gently.

Eventually, he falls asleep, too.


	4. Author's Note: Starting up again

A/N

Oh my god, I'm so sorry guys! I have been dragged on vacations for a while and now I have one of my best friends coming down to visit (she lives in another country)! But I promise I will update this sometime hopefully in August. I have some of the chapters written up, I just haven't had time to post them! I'm so sorry guys :c


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